so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
