were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize