What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
