haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We have started to decorate penises.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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