She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i think i just lost a toe
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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