I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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