Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
