he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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