I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
