They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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