i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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