honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
