Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I need help removing her.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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