Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
