tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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