the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
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We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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