CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
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Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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