I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think your dad took our porno
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
