I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize