So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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