No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
