I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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