still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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