shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
