dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This baby is an asshole
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
