so explain again why im purple
no
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
