we're blogging at a bar
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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