Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
