Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
