I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
