the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize