Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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