do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So much Jack, so little girl.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
