dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
