on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
