just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize