my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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