Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
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I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
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Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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