that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
