plz talk dirty to me
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
