i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
