drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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