You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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