ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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