yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
