I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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