ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
