Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
