I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
