so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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