I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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