I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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