Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
