his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
