I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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