the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
